A Post Just Because

I little while ago, in my Success Story Saturday post, I said there was a success that I’d hoped to share really soon. Maybe it was even premature to have posted that – there were a few career opportunities on the horizon that could have been big. Neither are coming to fruition. I’m tempted to sit down and weep, but that’s just not really my style. But I do feel sorry for myself and for my husband.

I knew it would be really hard to keep this blog going after I returned to work, but I felt like I should at least try. But life is just getting in the way and I felt like I should maybe just take a breath and write about that – the life getting in the way.

During maternity leave, I kept running 102 degree fevers. They happened at night and never lasted long and so I made no effort to get them checked out. They’ve continued, but now they are affecting my milk supply. I’m a huge breastfeeding advocate, but that aside… I can’t afford formula. Then I started waking up with my sheets soaked in sweat, but a very low body temperature (I’ve seen as low as 95.3). So, I finally drug myself into the doctor last week and watched him scratch his head because I don’t have other symptoms. I’ve been to the doctor’s office three times in a week, as they run more tests. I’ve had a chest x-Ray, as well as given two urine samples and two blood samples. Doesn’t seem like it’s my thyroid, kidneys, any infection, glucose problems, or tuberculosis. I should hear more back today.

And even if I just stayed and saw how things went, I appear to have been relegated to the role of secretary. I’m an aerospace engineer and my current title is project manager and I have people asking me to set up meetings for them. Not cool.

So here I am… Just trying to figure out my next move, hoping for sleep, and wondering what the heck is wrong with me. Sorry that I’m not commenting on blogs and all that…

On top of everything, the baby has suddenly stopped sleeping at night. We hope it’s a growth spurt and will be over soon, but three hours sleep is not enough to feel excited about blogging.

I’m about to drag myself in this morning to find out that I now report to the least qualified member of our team. Least qualified by a long shot. I am now realizing I have to find a new job – this company appears poised and determined to run itself into the ground and I don’t want to be here when that happens. But there are no other jobs for me in the area and my husband’s career was what brought us here. We are at a sort of impasse – not making enough for me to just walk away and also not making enough for me to lose my job in a year due to poor management practices.

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